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January 2004


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Education is undoubtedly a serious business, but there are lighter moments. Over the past year, teachers at Bristol Cathedral School have been gathering some of their pupils’ wise (and not-so-wise) words.

These exam answers, questions in class and excuses for lateness have now been gathered together in the latest issue of the Cathedralian, the independent school’s annual magazine.

Mr Kevin Riley, Headmaster of the independent school, says: “We pride ourselves on our high academic standards, but occasionally even the brightest pupils make mistakes. Some of these can certainly brighten up a quiet day in the staff room!”

Among the pearls of wisdom gathered from pupils at Bristol Cathedral School are:

  • Sir, what did the Romans use for contraception? Answer (from another pupil) Nothing – they were all Roman Catholics (Year 8)
  • People who are really old, say 50, can remember all the changes of the last 100 years (Year 10)
  • Question: Write down an English word derived from “aqua”. Answer: Blue (Year 8)
  • Pupil: I’ve been to the chiropodist. Teacher: Why? Pupil: I’ve had a new brace put in. (Year 11)
  • Pupil responding to a written instruction to carry out a project in pairs: Sir, why does it say that this project is to be done in Paris? (Year 8)
  • Was there any point in the Romans having friends? They had nothing to talk about, as there was no technology (Year 7)
  • Don’t you think the school should buy a set of string vests? (Year 10 – suggestion for improving arrangements for games)
  • When I reached the castle I got out of the cart and strapped my horse to a tree (Year 7)
  • A Year 12 student who could not accept that a poet could be named “Philip Larkin” ran his spell-checker over it and came up with “Philip Larceny”
  • The Romans used elephants and tortoises in their army (Year 8).
Issued on behalf of Bristol Cathedral School by Edge Media
MEDIA CONTACTS: Deputy Headmaster Mr Neil Folland on 0117 929 1872 or
Paul Herbert at Edge Media on 01453 842657
 

Bristol Cathedral School, College Square, Bristol, BS1 5TS. Tel 0117 929 1872
E-mail Head@BristolCathedral.org.uk